Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dear teenage girl

Dear ______,

I didn't put your name on the Christmas card because I don't approve of my brother in law being with you. I have a strong objection to him leaving his wife for a teenager, moving to Canada, and staying in a college dorm with other teenage girls. I think you are too close to being a child and much too far from being a woman. Don't get me wrong, you are a sweet girl....but my dear, you are a victim. You just don't understand yet. I am sorry for not accepting your facebook friend request, but.....I am friends with the woman who's life you just ruined. The woman who had a miscarriage the same time I did and who's husband decided it was too hard...too intense....too crazy to deal with. So he lied and and cheated and called her a liar and a cheat. He called her crazy. He left her for you, a high school girl at the time, because you don't know any better. Because no one else would be so stupid. You see, women would see him as a huge red flag, but you see him as your old soccer coach who you had a crush on but could never get because he was married. And he was. Is. He has taken advantage of your crush. The red flag of a 33 year old man leaving his wife, foreclosing on his home, and moving to Canada with nothing....but the "love" of a schoolgirl.

I sound judgmental, and I am. And If In 6 months you are knocked up, married in a shotgun wedding, and divorced in 2, i will be 20 bucks richer. And if instead, your "love" is real and you are married and happy in 10 years, well, I won't owe anyone any money because everyone is betting against you.

Welcome to the family,